| OOC NOTE |
[13 Aug 2008|08:17pm] |
|
[hey everyone! court asked me to leave a note and let everyone know that Lola won't be around for a couple of days. She is having computer issues]
|
|
| an apology is in order and it's going to be public... |
[16 Jun 2008|01:03pm] |
i'm not good at this. i'm especially not good at, like, sitting down and putting my words down onto paper (or in this case a computer screen) and having them make sense. i'm a rambler to the fullest extent and i'm probably going to drive everyone who reads this crazy and it's not going to make any sense whatsoever, but whatever. there is something that i feel like i really need to say and i'm not going to feel any better until i say it. i've been a flirt basically my entire life. i flirt with boys and girls and babies and puppies and basically anything that is alive. i love social interaction and getting to know people. i love hugging people and talking to them and cuddling; it's just who i am. i never really thought that my actions could truly hurt those around me. i'm just this one little five foot tall person, who goes around spreading love to anyone who wants to accept it. but i guess i learned in a sort of roundabout way that not everything works like that. it's really easy to say that you can just be the social butterfly, but sometimes the things you say and do can hurt other people and that's when it stops being okay.
you give me butterflies. you make me smile. my favorite thing in the world is waking up and having you laying next to me because you look so innocent when you're asleep, and then you open your eyes (and more importantly, your mouth) and you're so not innocent anymore. but for those few minutes when i'm laying in bed and you're still sleeping and i look over at you, i always sort of wonder how i managed to get the guy. for the first time in my entire life. i got the guy. and he's not just any guy. he's my cigarette smoking, bad boy, TROUBLEMAKING prince charming. and the truth is that i wouldn't have it any other way. we're not perfect and we haven't even known each other that long, but the fact that you took a chance on me really means something to me. we couldn't be more opposite and i think we both know that. you're smart and you could have had your pick of any girl at this school. you never really settled down, but you did it for me because you knew i wasn't the type of girl who would just hook up with guys. you never once asked me to compromise who i was or what i stood for, and i want to thank you for that. you have been nothing but patient and kind and amazing to me, and i feel like i haven't measured up lately.
so. this is me apologizing in a less than eloquent way. i probably could have just gone downstairs and said all of this to your face, but i figured it would be a bigger and better gesture to do it in a place where everyone could see it. i'm sorry if i hurt you, and i'm sorry if you somehow think you can't trust me. but the truth is that since the day we've met, no other guy has ever stood a chance. you had me hooked from the second you opened the door. and let's face it, you managed to get my top off the first night we met. granted, you tricked me, but that's besides the point. i'm happy and honored to call you my boyfriend and i hate, hate, hate that i hurt you. i've said i'm sorry a million times already, but i could figure out how to say it in other languages if you would prefer.
|
|